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Gary Borders: New Hampshire always lives up to its 'Live Free or Die' motto

Abbie Teel

The Onion, a satirical magazine and website the day after the New Hampshire primary published a Photoshopped image of a dejected Jeb Bush sitting on the ground, his back against a mud-spattered concrete block wall. The headline: “Demoralized Jeb Bush Succumbs to New Hampshire Heroin Epidemic.”

The headline cracked me up before I even read the story. If you have never partaken of the Onion and need a laugh, visit the onion.com. A recent top story: “Obama Resigns from Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job in Seattle.”

Now, I know some of you listening wish it were true. Just remember two words: Joe Biden. Actually, I like Joe Biden. He has handled great tragedies in his life with grace and courage. I’m just reminding those who want Obama gone that good ol’ Joe would succeed him.

At one debate, Chris Christie (who dropped out the day after New Hampshire) bizarrely claimed he was going to kick Obama out of the White House. No, the 22nd amendment to the Constitution will handle that quite nicely. As of Jan. 20, 2017, no matter who is elected, he will be former President Obama. Christie’s statement was one of the dumbest of a campaign filled with outrageous assertions.

To say that this has been a strange presidential campaign so far is to understate the matter.

That said, Bernie’s convincing win over Hillary did not surprise me. Nor did Trump’s victory. As I said, New Hampshire residents by and large are a contrary lot. Many times they have confounded the establishment pols. They propelled Jimmy Carter into the top tier over better-known candidates in 1976. Bill Clinton finished a surprising second in 1992, salvaging a campaign marred by sex scandals. Obama finished a close second to Hillary in 2008, breathing oxygen into his race. On the Republican side, Pat Buchanan beat Bob Dole in 1996, though Dole ended up as the nominee.

Like Iowa, New Hampshire’s electorate does not reflect what most of America looks like. The state is 94 percent white. Its median household income at nearly $65,000 is nearly 20 percent higher than the national average. It’s a small state. Manchester with 110,000 is the largest city, and the capital, Concord (in whose hospital I was born), is a little larger than Lufkin at 42,000. The entire state’s population is less than the Austin metro area. People who live in New Hampshire take great pride in having the first true presidential contest in the nation. We don’t count Iowa as a true contest.

The electorate is more uniquely attuned to retail politics than anywhere in the country. After all, the state legislature, called the General Court of New Hampshire, has 400 members in the House and another 24 in the Senate. That is one rep for every 3,500 residents. You can’t go to the state-run liquor store — another quirk — without running into a legislator.

I figure Trump is going to flame out any day now. I am not so sure about Bernie. The one thing The Donald and Bernie have in common is an interesting way of saying yuge, which in the rest of the country is pronounced with an “h” sound.

I have a 1975 New Hampshire license plate on my study’s mantel, which I bought at a yard sale in Concord a few decades ago. It sports the state’s “Live Free or Die” slogan. I have always loved that slogan, even though it has been co-opted by wacko survivalist-types and white supremacists.

I guess it’s because I am from New Hampshire, and inherited some of my family’s cantankerousness. And, no, I am not going to tell you how I plan to vote in the Texas primary.

Gary Borders has been an East Texas journalist and editor for more than 40 years. He works now as a freelance writer, editor and photographer. You can see his work at garyborders.com. He has written for World Wildlife magazine, Texas Monthly, Texas Observer and Airstream Life.
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